Synchronicity & Serendipity

As we approach Spring and the days are getting longer and warmer and the snowdrops are scattered around and daffodils start to peep through the earth, our spirits are lifted.  This coupled with the recent announcements of the Government restrictions being lifted, give us fresh hope.  It has been a long Winter and since Covid-19 darkened our doorsteps last March, we have lived with fear in very uncertain times.  It is nice to finally have a plan, as we take preventative measures having our vaccines.

During lockdown we have all had to adjust to various changes in the way we work and live.  We have been reminded that we are not in control and this can throw us into 'fear'.  It has been important to stay grounded and one way I have done this is by being outdoors in nature, meditating and connecting with my faith.  This allowed me to develop my practice to work outdoors.  I believe this alignment has happened, as I have begun to trust the Universe and become my biggest cheerleader, rather than letting myself be sucked into other people's drama.  Surrounding myself with people who encourage and support me whilst gently challenging me, in order to fulfil my destiny.  This has involved letting go of people that play the victim and try to control the situation through their behaviour so I can focus on the outcome.

 

Compassion

During this time of discovery and online connection, I have discovered Paul Gilbert - Compassion Focused Therapy who explains there are three emotional regulation sytems as follows:-

• Threat (or fear)
• Drive (or doing)
• Soothing (slowing down)

The first two are based around your sympathetic nervous system where you produce adrenaline.  The soothing sytem is based around your parasympathetic nervous system.

Compassion involves asking for help and not feeling ashamed; we can choose who to share our difficulties with.  Whereas, shame based behaviour involves hiding ourselves away.  Often we are afraid to reach out and fear paralyses us.  It is ok to be afraid.  We should not feel ashamed of fear, it is a natural emotion. 

Developing self-compassion involves learning ways to calm our systems in order to self-soothe and help ourselves feel safe.  Sometimes this can involve walking away from a situation that threatens us or finding ways to feel relaxed.  Fear triggers our threat system or 'fight or flight' response.  Soothing our systems applies the brakes to our parasympathetic nervous system.   This produces endorphins that make you feel good.